Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What else is there?

Ya know, I'm just not one of those lucky gals who find amazing deals when shopping. I'm usually the type that ends up forking over full price moolah for something, then awe in wonderment to the others who seem to be shopping on a different planet than I.  But, I got lucky and found one recently.  Like really lucky. But it took a ad in the paper for it to dawn on me. The library here in Gillette, WY was selling tons of books for like fifty cents. Jackpot! I scurried on over there with my little Nora and we picked out some books to purchase. She ended up with a "Babies first words" type book, I bought a few Photojournalism books for Dustin and I, then I found one that really struck a chord, "The mask of Motherhood, How Becoming a Mother Changes Everything, and Why We Pretend It Doesn't" by Susan Maushart.  Regretfully, that sucker has been collecting dust for about 2 months on the bookshelf.   Until I remembered I had it one day when ranting that I have nothing to read.  It was like finding the steal all over again. :)

So I've been reading the book.  I'm halfway thru it, and I like it. I really like it.  It is full of factual info/data on motherhood, pregnancy, etc.  It's like the book for the mom, not the baby.  It's real, slightly depressing, and sometimes a bit witty. Lots of info on studies conducted of the psychology/sociology/physiology/you-name-it of becoming a new mother.  I would definitely recommend this book to any mom, esp new mom out there.  Check it out here.

Since becoming a Mother, I have had to shed my old skin, and came into a new. I am a different person.  It does change you. It did me.  Sometimes it's a sad, to think of my old self, my goals and aspirations. What I used to want for myself. That old Emily. But now it's assuring. I feel more confident, and more peaceful. It's like what you want changes. Your outlook on life is completely shifted and nothing anyone tells you prepares you for how huge it is. How big of a difference.  It's unrealistic to portray a 'perfect mother' image, and it puts a lot of pressure on other mother's. If we would just nod and say the truth, that it's amazing and hard, and sometimes we really have no clue how we did it, or how we feel asleep nursing the baby at 3am in the glider and woke up 30 min later...yeah, that happens.  Babies teach mothers. Just as much as we teach babies.  And I'm certain that this is just the tip of the iceberg for me.  I am so happy to be blessed with this journey, and the true test of my womanhood. I will fail at times, but that's what makes it real. I love my new life. I have to. :)

What else is there? This is all I need. She is my constant, in a life so ever-changing, we will always have each other. Kisses to my Nora.

1 comment:

  1. So true Emily....Never thought that being a Mom could change you so much until you become one....Jaden has changed my life for the better and I can't even begin to wonder why it took us 6 years to have him...People say to us everyday they don't see how James and I can get through everything we have been through but you just do...We build on his amazing strength and he keeps us going....Just praying that tomorrow's major brain surgery will be his last one for the rest of his life....It's #15 for his little 19months of life....It's been a terrible storm but wouldn't change it for anything....Thanks for sharing your sweet story of being a mom....I love you bunches.....Kacey